The common 2010 state of Sahaja Yoga collectives worldwide
Yogini Kumar
Mon Sep 6, 2010
I was a member of SY for well over a decade. I too married in the group and sent one of my children to the school. My marriage was abusive in every way (physically, emotionally, mentally) and when I separated, I was told to leave the group. I was alone with my children and I had no help from anyone. The fact that I was told to leave was actually a blessing. I discovered ME away from all that. I began to see the fear factors and conditionings. That even though SY had helped me get over a depression at first and made me feel many great things, still it created more fears and more "rules" about how to lead my life.
I believe that there are PLENTY of paths for everyone and that is individual. A group can never be as collective as it thinks it is--why exclude the rest of the world? (yes everyone is welcome, but why judge them if they are not IN SY). I sure met many wonderful people but they too suffer in life just like everyone else- except most hide it. SY is still in the bad/good duality..good vibrations means good and bad vibrations means bad...so judge everything and everyone accordingly...where is the humanity? And can you all see that you are living in fear of negativity? therefore closing your own hearts? Have you not noticed that everyone else is preaching that their religion is the ONE and only? and isn't this from the fear of the ego of being wrong?
I had to face so many such conditionings and fears that I allowed the group to place in me---yes I allowed it and I am not blaming. We are meant to unlearn but we learn a whole lot of stuff that is just blocking our hearts. I found that there is a lot of power struggles within the members which manifest outside of the group--- why on earth should we let anyone dictate our life? how to live, whom to marry (we are not forced marry in SY, but we are not accepted as fully yogies if we don't)...who is living my life? I thought it was me. I should be responsible for my growth, for my behaviours, my thoughts and my deconditioning. I don't need anyone else to do that for me.
I noticed that Syogies just did treatments and treatments no end to get rid of their negativities---- nothing --NOTHING can change your energy if you don't change!!! and if you fear negativity itself--forget it! I too feared others because of their "negativity" but this fear, how can it unify me with everything else? If I am fully realized soul then I see the world as not apart from myself...I am one with it but if I fear everything I see; then that means I am seeing everything as separate--which would mean I am just living spirituality by the ego aspect of my mind. Yes--the ego can pose as the spirit too.
I feel that the first aspect of any religion should be HUMANITY, so if I am not helped in my worst moments because people cannot comprehend how my life can be bad when I am in SY, then isn't this fear? Do we not learn more from our darkest moments? isn't darkness an illusion and part of facing it is our realization that we are light beings? I felt that SYogies had fears of people that could give the organization a bad name, and trust me! I was a very good dedicated member and I am a highly skilled professional...but my divorce wasn't welcome. I want to send the message that LIFE is perfect as it is--it is us who label it as bad or negative, good or positive---attracting whichever energy we we attach to. Life is life and we cannot live freely if we keep living by what others think we should think and feel. I found that I had to deny my thoughts and emotions-hide them from myself...but isn't that just adding to the pile? no wonder I was catching in my energy!!! since then, I have befriended my thoughts and my feelings and I face them ..why? because they contain important messages of who I am and that is a HUGE part of being aware. Thoughtless awareness is great when we have properly released the thoughts and emotions within us.
In SY we are told we are "not guilty" but we are judged no end for our choices or feelings because when there is so many rules and someone goes against them isn't that just giving room for judgement and gossip? for feeling guilty? We learned dharma but along with it we learned to avoid being who we are by avoiding our thoughts and feelings...aren't these the very messages that will set us free, if we become aware of them?
My son's school experience was good for one year and horrible for the second year. He developed a lot of emotional (anger) problems from that experience and he had ADD and no one realized it!!! He did not learn how to read and he was so frustrated. The bullying in the school was beyond comprehension and the principals that they changed every year were anything but spiritual and hardly educated. Why? not using proper wisdom- yes we do have to act too, not just surrender! Sahaja yoga was my life for a while and I really did enjoy a lot of it. I did learn a lot and grew a lot within myself. I felt the vibrations--and still feel energy even though I don't meditate SY way.
I could easily think or feel that I made the wrong decision in life by being in SY but I decided not to feel victimized in life for any reason. I knew that within myself there was something pulling me towards it and that that same magnet is pushing me away from it now into myself. There is no reason for me to find myself outside anymore. I don't need a picture, or a candle or any mantras because I feel my spirit within myself. Everything outside will always deceive...so I rather work it out alone within myself without outside distractions. I can work out my feelings and my thoughts and I feel the intuitive voice within me which is my spirit which gives me all the answers within that loving silence.
So I guess I have a challenge for all of you SYogies..and that is to try a year without it and feel your OWN and see if there is fear when you try to leave it...if there is fear it means you are there because of fear...you are scared of hell? damnation? of being wrong? what are you scared of? you know what hell is? our ego traps..our fears, and resistance to life and all that prevent us from feeling ourselves fully. Forget the picture and forget all the worshiping...everything is WITHIN YOU...remove it all..unplug from it all and after a year add whatever you feel resonates fully with you. Shri Mataji has been my spiritual teacher..and I learned a lot, now I am truly my own teacher and I don't need to hang onto my teacher or worship my teacher because I too left all my teachers from school as I learned what I needed to learn. God is everyone of us..not just specific people. We are not higher or lower. We don't have to worship anyone, rather we have to see the oneness of it all and that is through LOVE. When we worship anyone on the outside, we are saying that we are not IT..we are not God. Well..yes I am God and so are YOU who is reading this. I am moving forward now without regret or resentment because that too would only block me and not serve me in my acceptance of life. Whether I was right or wrong doesn't matter. I grew through it all. The spirit doesn't see right or wrong..it just IS.
Yogini Kumar
John Glough
Tue Sep 7, 2010
sorry to hear about your bad experiences - seems like quite a few people did.
Often it is the individuals who are "leaders who cause the suffering.
As for me I've been in for over 25 years. I have stepped away for a couple of years (away from the collective), but
always enjoying my blissful meditations.
For me, Mataji has fulfilled my spiritual goal of experiencing the oneness and the limitless Joy of meditation.
I look forward to many others entering this state of being soon.
If I can assist you and/or your son in any way, please let me know.
JG
Yogini Kumar
Mon Sep 6, 2010
Thank you for your beautiful heart John. I am not scared to go to the collective. I could still go and no one can officially stop me even though I was told to not come until my divorce is settled. My divorce is not complete yet and it has been almost two years. I don't think it will sort out very soon either.
My challenge is actually for both sides. For S Yogies who feel stuck to leave the group for a while and unplug and find themselves without anything form the outside, and for those who are bitter about their experience in SY to embrace their life choices no matter what because if one cannot change the past then why drag it along, why condemn any part of your life when in reality we are co-creators. We chose this path and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing that we chose that is really totally bad because nothing can touch who we really are. If our desire is strong enough nothing can deceive us and even the darkest path will show us our light if we are genuine SELF seekers.
John, if you see the greatest saints, they did learn from their teacher and they are grateful for ever, but they keep growing genuinely. They don't stay in "school" forever. They become truly their own master-- true saints who take responsibility for their own life in every way. I got to a point that I really felt the "stuckness" of the group because people were so busy with how to manage the group, what so and so has done, etc. I never got into any of it (and I ignored all of it until I became a part of it because of my decision to divorce). Still I feel I have grown so much more away from that atmosphere. Even though I do feel like they have been my family and I forgive them for not being there when I most needed them-- it was for a higher reason. I still working out many things, but I have a good guide within myself. And I can see my path clearly. I no longer react to so many things I used to react to, and that is freedom. I am getting to the point that I no longer see a reason to forgive because in the highest truth, there was never anything to forgive. Like I said, only in darkness can we see that we are light. Everything we see outside is what is within us, our state of perception, and if everything is illusion even Mahamaya, then why not just be within where there is no illusion at all. Blessings to you beautiful soul.
Yogini Kumar
Fri Sep 10, 2010
I know what you are saying Christopher. I don't think phobias of any kind are healthy. We all need to accept that everyone is living and growing in different ways and even if we all followed the same thing (actually we do...our inner self), it would still be unique. There is a reason for everything and as long as we are brave enough to face ourselves, we will find that underneath it all we are truly one after all. I too do things like foot soaking. I find it very relaxing before going to bed. I connect within myself, so even if I were to light a candle (I rarely do), I don't focus on the candle but only within myself. ALL is within. I am glad to be away from the group for the same reasons..the politics and the gossips..the lack of compassion. I also know that I grow faster when I take full responsibility for my reactions, my emotions and my growth in general. I have no one to blame...it is just between me and ME (higher self)
John
Dear brothers and sisters,
I just wanted to share a few thoughts with you, since this seems to be the only appropriate place I know of. I will not disclose my name or my country, because I do not want any reaction started. I will just call myself John. And these are just my thoughts.
Please excuse me for mistakes, English is not my native language:
I first attended a Sahaja Yoga programme in the summer of 1990; I instantly recognized The Mother and never had any doubt.
I enthusiastically joined the Sahaj collectivity that was forming in my country. Of course, I soon found out that things were not as they should have been. After an initial "golden age" phase that lasted just a few months, suddenly everything went down-hill in a way. A host of half-baked people burst in and relatively quickly transformed the vibrations-driven community into a very funny and ritualistic thing. Vibrations and thoughtlessness were taking a lesser importance (and never regained first place).
A strange short fellow with a big ego, little wisdom and absolutely no sense of vibrations practically pushed himself into the leader position (but at least I must credit him with the frankness of declaring that he did not feel any cool or hot breeze). A few years later he went to the US; at his level of wisdom I suspect him of managing the McDonalds-like site of www.sahajameditation.com.
Another, a young man with a very "angelic" face and very shrewd ways became a big hit amongst the Yoginis of all ages and a central force of ego influence (I must say that I saw some pictures from the Guru Puja 2008 and he was there, aged and balding but with the same trickery on his face). By the grace of God he also left the country.
Well, in a short time the collectivity evolved into something else, a sort of a social place, a place where people would meet, laugh a lot, meditate a little (not too much, because a rumour spread that a lot of meditation is not good for you), work on each other, again, just a little (because everyone was afraid of catching), sing a lot. And I mean A LOT! They became so enamoured of singing that almost every time in a public programme, some guy (disturbed maybe by the flow of vibrations) would start singing, disrupting the precious moments of meditation. Personally I always found bhajans unpleasant the way they were sung in an European collectivity which had nothing to do with Indian culture. But I love ragas, which I find the most evolved kind of music.
So, it seemed that our meetings had very little to do with Nirvichara but a lot to do with all sorts of left and right sided energies which were fascinating to watch but became harmful to my subtle body. I would go home and cleanse for hours in order to achieve a little balance (this was not a sign of me being highly evolved, I don't say that; I was way over sensitive and vulnerable). Oh, and a little funny thing: while in the beginning the mantras were of Shri Nirvichara, later they were about Shri Nirvikalpa, as if the whole collectivity had gone to a Nirvikalpa state; in reality, they had almost no interest even in Nirvichara; the laughing, the jokes and the singing were more interesting.
After barely surviving for a few years, I got fed up of all the bowing to each other like little Japanese geishas, the cult-like things and jargon, inuendos, groups forming based on common catches, mutual accusations of being off-center and other low level manifestations from people who were supposed to be realised souls. I primarily resented the fact that actual thoughtless state and vibrations were not important anymore. And of Shri Mataji being portrayed as "a lady from India who has special powers". So I left the collectivity. And to my surprise I found out that I was moving easier between people that knew nothing of Sahaja Yoga than between people who did things wrong in Sahaja Yoga.
I now fast forward the following 15 years, which are of no importance. Starting with a few months ago, I had noticed that it was getting increasingly easier for me to meditate. I was more and more in a state of joy. And then, as a lightning, at the beginning of this March I found out that Shri Mataji was no longer with us in physical form. I took two days leave and cried almost non-stop. My mind told me that She is not really gone, just the illusion has changed, but it was hard to get over this "earthly" reaction.
I suddenly realised that I meditated quite a lot and profoundly even in the days after Mother's so-called death and I had sensed no unusual things, just the opposite: joy. I remembered that some years ago I felt Her attention on me (or maybe on the whole collective) when she had travelled by plane over my country, so I should have felt something if something was intended to be felt. Ergo, the logical conclusion is that She did not want me (or any of us) to feel pain or grief. And so I became centered once again.
But a new sense of responsibility has developed now. It is clear that it is now only up to us to make Her vision reality. And since She can (by "can" I mean "can, accordingly to the laws that She Herself set when She created our Reality") act now only through our Sahasraras, we really have to wake up and do whatever we were meant to do. I do not know what that is and I do not think I will ever be anounced beforehand. But this is Sahaja Yoga. This is about The Present.
For me, the things that I must urgently do (and I beg Mother's forgiveness for postponing them for so long) are to first fully establish the Nirvichara state and then receive the Nirvikalpa (if I will be judged worthy of it). I will not do the mistake of waiting to be "perfect" until I start again giving Realisation to people. But I must first remove all catches and main imbalances, so that I can really be a wide-open channel for Mother's love (exactly as said in the little mentioned 2008 Guru Puja Talk). Because it is not a question of talking about Sahaja Yoga. I see it the other way round: people feeling vibrations from me, maybe being temporarily relieved of their pains and imbalances when they are near me, and then giving them Realisation. Otherwise, if nothing is to be felt from me, if I do not give strong vibrations, what is the use? Will I battle with people's egos and super-egos?
Now a few words about certain very disturbing facts:
- The www.sahajameditation.com site: it is horrible. No "Yoga" mentioned. No Shri Mataji, except where she is mentioned casually as an object of meditation, on the same level as candles and music. Her biography is a watered down version. For the demons that concocted this site, Shri Mataji is just a person like you and me. And Sahaja (remember, no Yoga) is nothing but a meditation technique. There is no mentioning of Kundalini, chakras or Divinity. The subtle system is replaced with a stack of points, no channels, nothing. Deep supraconscious stuff.
It is as if they try to by-pass the necessary recognition of Shri Mataji in order to enjoy the side-effects (health and low stress levels) of Her Advent.
It is very sad that the US (world's Vishuddhi, aren't they?) have gone to this low level. God knows what will happen to them. It is very wrong to try to alter the message of an Incarnation to suit the stupidity of the people. This will cause some punishment and I fear it will be severe.
I read that this site had some PR company behind it. I simply cannot comment on this in civilised terms: it is the stupidest thing I have ever heard (apart from "Papaji Ki Jay" mentioned below).
When I visited this site, my whole subtle body got numbed down for quite some time. Really. It seems that this "New Approach" burns through the right side of a person. Ironically, I read that US yogis against this demonic venture are deemed negative. Instead, the promoters should be thrown out until they realise what they have done.
- This WCASY business, National Councils and other Councils: people, have you forgotten the meaning of "Sahaj"? What is wrong with you? Do you really think that you are above "regular" Sahaja Yogis? What happened to "Mother, I do nothing, You do everything" ? Did you say this affirmation just once in the last ten years? Do you really think you can organize the Divine? Do you think Mother's Love flows to us through you? Don't you realize that even if you cease to exist this very day, it would mean absolutely nothing? Get into your thick ego-covered over-pressurised heads that you are no higher than any other Sahaja Yogi. As long as you think you "do" and you keep whatever you have "done" in your head, you are bloating your ego. Just surrender everything that you have "done". Meditate and meditate and meditate. Just realise that you have been in an illusion of ego so many years, say "Mother, forgive me" and then do not think. Simple.
- Sir CP: I never liked him. When I left the collectivity years ago he still had the common sense (or maybe he was patiently waiting for his time to come) to stay behind and keep quiet. I was astounded to find out that he somehow managed to become a central figure in Sahaja Yoga. I really don't think that this man has received Realisation. That "telepathy" thing that he boasted is nonsense. Of course that if Mother needed a translator She would have chosen a realised soul, not this bone-dry right-sided person. I think that it takes a special demonic type of person to stay so many years near Shri Adi Shakti and remain (or become) evil. Because he is clearly driven by greed and ego.
I fell off the chair laughing when I read that so-called realised souls greeted this person with "Papaji Ki Jay" !!! Oh really? I do not know what kind of powers these mislead guys imagine they have but I can tell them that Guru principle is just a joke in them. Hundreds of Sahaja Yogis bowing to a non-realised person? If he had any wisdom, he should have firmly protested and forbid anyone to greet him like this a second time.
And this person dared to drug Mother? We all know that going against The Holy Ghost is a sin not to be forgiven.
Of course now he wants to erect I don't know what kind of monument. He is good at organising, no doubt. Just like Paul was (they do seem animated by the same energy). And a bulding means, of course, more money. Obviously he likes money.
He gave his full measure in the final lie about the power of decision that his beloved world leaders should have.
It is very absurd to me. This old guy is now nothing. He means nothing. He has no saying in Sahaja Yoga (he never should have had). The Sahaja Yogis should take care of him as a courtesy for Mother (even if he acted so devilishly), but no more.
We shouldn't be very concerned, because he can do nothing but Mother's will. He will destroy the organisation that is called by the name of Sahaja Yoga. And this is a good thing, because that organisation is nothing Sahaj. And we do not want a new dead religion.
We have a world to redeem. There are so many people that have to receive Realisation.
All of these problems should never have existed. It is quite easy, actually: get your connection. Meditate. Establish the vibrations. Establish Nirvichara. Find out (only in vibrations and meditation, the rest is just a pitiful attempt to convince your own ego of something that goes against its limited laws) about Shri Mataji and Her message. Act accordingly to your meditation state, not to what your mind says. Just BE and let the Paramchaitanya guide you. All things Sahaj start when thoughts end. That simple. No need for leaders, no need for Councils, no need for an old man being like a cork in the Sahasrara (sorry for the last cruel image, but I dare anyone to think about this CP and feel cool vibrations at the same time).
John
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